A tea kettle

I remember the first time I saw a kitchen with no kettle

boiling on the stove, whistling a song.

No one apologized for a mess when there wasn't a mess,

And the doors were closed softly.

Sitting in the kitchen,

My heart learned to beat on its own

without following the rhythm of the tea kettle's whistle,

that had been playing in my own kitchen

Since the day my oldest brother was born.

I learned that I don't have to feel guilty for my silences,

And that Paul Rudd's character in Perks of Being a Wallflower was right.

"We accept the love we think we deserve."

I get it now.

I thought love was always going to be laced with anger,

and coated with disappointment.

And I cry more now knowing that that isn't true.